Poet – The Fleshy Thing You Sit Upon [E.J. Pratt]

That’s it E.J., work that robe. C’mon, give me those sexy eyes.

 Edwin John Dove Pratt (1882 – 1964) is one of Newfoundland’s and Canada’s greatest poets. While Newfoundlanders certainly call him our own, I was surprised to see just how widespread his acclaim and influence was and is. What truly makes him a Newfoundland icon is not so much what he accomplished, but how he did it. His poetry draws heavily on Newfoundland culture and history.

He was born in Western Bay, found just north of a Sex and the Island favorite, Small Point-Broad Cove-Blackhead. He grew up in various Newfoundland communities in a Methodist family. Eventually, he made it to the University of Toronto to study and to teach for years. There a library is named after him, as well as a Medal for poetry.

If you’re unfamiliar, a good place to start would be 1923’s Newfoundland Verse.

Now, his sexy name may not be obvious to all at first. However, as I am a fan of British Television, I knew that “prat” was a solid British insult, so I looked further into it. It means “the buttocks”.

I’m not sure what sounds better: E.J. Pratt or E.J. the Buttocks. I suppose that depends if you want a stupid name or something “respectable” befitting of a poet. My vote goes to buttocks, but when doesn’t it?

Of Unique and Specific Taste [Harold Horwood]

The Sexiest Man Whose Name Conjures Images of Street-walking Surgery Gone Horribly Wrong.

Harold Horwood (1923-2006), or Harry Horwood as I like to call him, is one of Newfoundland’s most prolific writers with the most promiscuous name. He is celebrated for a long and distinguished writing career, whose pinnacle is often cited as 1972’s White Eskimo. While he did write fiction, he was also dabbled in biography, natural history, regular ol’ history, and controversial political and sociological opinion.

He is a divisive figure, not always holding rural Newfoundland Culture in high opinion, which pretty much guarantees you the death penalty in these parts. Despite this, he remains well respected and was a Member of the Order of Canada, a vague and wide ranging honour that was established to celebrate “people”.

As for his sexy name, there’s no real explanation needed. I mean Harry Horwood. For those of you who need the explanation, picture a lady-boy prostitute with plenty of testosterone to spare.

And for those of you trying to rid yourself of the image, there’s nothing I can do for you.

Newfoundland’s Greatest Little Man Complex [Joey Smallwood]

“No, really, it’s this big.”

Joey Smallwood is the most famous Newfoundlander who is not famous outside of Newfoundland, eliciting blank stares once his name is dropped on the mainland. He is a controversial figure considered equally hero and villain. You can’t throw a Bald Coot without hitting a biography weighing our population’s opinion of him so I won’t go into that.

I will say that whether you love or hate him, Newfoundland as it exists today wouldn’t have been possible without Joey Smallwood. He was a founder of the Confederate League that supported Newfoundland joining Canada in the 1948 referendum that ultimately led to Newfoundland becoming the 10th province of Canada in 1949. He then became Premier of Newfoundland for 23 years.

I will say this about his motives to join Canada: was he truly concerned with economic prosperity, or was he trying to compensate for his surname by joining the world’s 2nd largest country?

I bet he drove a big ol’ truck too.

Makes you think…