Protect yourself, before you scrub yourself…? [Rubber]

If you ever have a late night hook up and you are asked “Do you have a rubber?” I can assure you that you never ever, ever will. Okay, so you might have a condom, and if you’re awesome, you’ll have your rubber boots. (I mean have you ever met anyone who had a handy pair of rubber boots and wasn’t awesome?)

But will you have a piece of wood fastened on the outside of the gunwale of a boat? And no, your penis is not a gunwale, no matter how much you brag. And if it is, what are you doing fastening pieces of wood to it?

Now you may say “Wood is the complete opposite of rubber!” which isn’t quite true, but for the sake of argument, I’ll agree. However, this use of the word rubber is derived from the word “Scrubber”, which kind of makes sense, as this protective piece of wood would “scrub” or “rub” against things that make harm the boat.

I guess. I don’t know anything about boats. But rubber boots? I’m your man. I’m awesome.