Must’ve Come From Dildo [Tiddly Puss-Stick]

This was a deeply buried entry, but an amazing find by one of Sex and the Island’s readers, suggested through our Facebook group.

Continuing the fantastic tradition of giving children’s games bizarre and giggle-worthy names, we have another one named Tiddly. That name is sexy at a very long stretch, but one of the details has a certain merit.

Tiddly, from what I can gather, is a cross between the table top game of tiddlywinks and baseball. Kind of. To quote the Dictionary of Newfoundland English:

The game of tiddly is enjoyed by both boys and girls. It’s played by using two sticks; one about a foot long, the tiddly stick, and another about three feet long. Two stones are arranged so that the ends of the tiddly stick rest on them. The other stick is used to hook the tiddly stick as far as possible. If a member of the opposing team catches it, you’re out.

However, if you’ve checked the definition, you’ll find a variation for the name of the stick: “Puss-Stick”. Since the rules lost me a long time ago, I have no idea exactly what a Puss-Stick is for, other than you throw a Tiddly-Stick at it. Which, of course, is not recommended. One must treat the Puss-Stick with the utmost care, or suffer severe injury. I think.

Thanks to Janet for the suggestion.

You Can Do It, Put Your Back In To It [Manus]

A clever word from the blogosphere to differentiate between bums of the opposite sex? The back roads answer to “metrosexual”? Nope.

Picture, if you will, dozens of gruff seamen packed into a ice breaker and whose only goal for the next month is to beat the ever loving shit out of seals. Club them to death with big long sticks. All alone, in the middle of nowhere, nothing but frigid winds and violence to keep them company. Not very pleasant. Now, picture said group of men very angry.

To describe their subsequent actions, one would need a word with oomph. A word that doesn’t roll well off the tongue. A word that alludes to grit and total abandon with articulation alone. A word that could be whispered in hushed conversation about truths we would never admit to knowing…

Yep, “manus” fits the bill. It’s a verb, and has a specific meaning. It refers to the mutiny of a group of sealers. So were they to disobey orders and refuse the continuation of a voyage, they would be “manusing”.

I would too, if all I saw for a month was a bunch of dirty old Manus.

What’s In A Name? Cont. [The Dildo Series Part 3]

A continuation of the previous installment in the Dildo Series, we continue looking at possible origins of the name “Dildo”.

Theory #4: Named After a Part of a Ship, a Long Metal Cylinder
This has come up a couple times in my research, but I can find nothing to back it up. I can find no part of ship named dildo, nor a long metal cylinder named dildo (well, only exactly what you would imagine. So until more substantial evidence is found, I will have to discount this one, as I cannot actually find what this theory describes
Probability: Unlikely

Theory #5: Named After an Old Word for “Chorus”
Some have said that it was named after a word used in a Shakespeare play, The Winter’s Tale, which refers to a chorus. Looking into this, I discovered that this may part of the origin of dildo as sex toy. The term, tracing back to a “back and forth” meaning would account for use in the context of a song (back and forth to a chorus) and to the use of sex toy (no explanation necessary). What does this have to do with the town? Probably nothing, but that’s par for the course in Newfoundland. Given its old use, this possible origin of the name escalates into serious contention.
Probability: Possible

Theory #6: Named After a Short Sword, On Account of the Shape of Dildo Island
I looked cockeyed at this theory. I can’t think of a short sword named dildo, and at first I thought it might be a subtle reference to the sex toy. But the island is very sword-like in shape, so I wanted to look into this theory. And I found a sword called the Bilbo. No, not Sting. The Bilbo sword originates from Bilbao, a Basque local in Northern Spain. In fact, it was celebrated for its sword manufacture such that “Bilbo” is found in Old English. As you can imagine, the internet is not very forthcoming in information regarding the Bilbo Sword that is not Tolkien base, but from what I can find, it is a thrusting sword related to the rapier and epee, both originating in the area of Europe as well.
Probability: Maybe

So where does this leave us? I figure that most towns have the one origin story and that’s it, whether it is true or not. But given the unusual name, many attempts to justify the name have come to bear, just as many as any other town were there a need. In the end, there is no definitive answer, and much speculation. I guess the final judgment is yours, whatever turns your crank. Which, I suppose, is the whole purpose of Dildo.

My Aim Is True [Come to Collar]

For those of you who have identified the sexual innuendo, good for you! You’re either tuned into modern sexual slang, watch Sex and The City, or are too creative for your own good.

Takes a bit of explanation for this one, so I don’t know what that says for me, as I jumped to the allusion immediately. A pearl necklace is when a man ejaculates on another person’s chest and neck region, with the white semen droplets appearing as pearls on a necklace. I suppose a woman could ejaculate to achieve a similar effect, but given the logistics and the rare-ish nature of female ejaculation, I’d image it hasn’t been done that often.

So we come back to “come to collar”. Get it? GET IT!?!?!?! Okay, so a stretch yes, but I like the expression enough, the vulgar description of the pearl necklace notwithstanding. Collar, in old Newfoundland vernacular, means “anchor”, so to come to collar means to set anchor. Talk about some R&R.

What’s In A Name? [The Dildo Series Part 2]

Newfoundland is no stranger to unusual and thought provoking names. Joe Batt’s Arm, Nancy Oh, Nicky’s Nose Cove, and Heart’s Delight (not to mention Heart’s Content and Heart’s Desire) all grab the eye and illicit a chuckle or two. But none seem as outrageous as the town of Dildo. It’s a simple name, and straightforward in so much that the town has the exact name of a sexual pleasure device.

Now if you’ve met any of Dildo’s inhabitants, you’d realize that it is an ordinary, albeit absolutely beautiful town. Beautiful, but not so much that it requires a name related in some way, shape, or form to the female orgasm. So where did this name come from?

There are many theories, and it’s hard to nail down one over the other. Dildo is located at the heart of Trinity Bay, and a stone’s throw from Conception Bay (how ironic). This region has had its fair share of visitors, from the Maritime Archaic Indian, Dorset Eskimo, and Beothuk to European fishermen hailing from Spain, France, Portugal, and England. And there just as many theories as to where the name came from. I’ve outlined six, three of which appear here, three more which will show up in the third installment of the Dildo Series.

Theory #1: Traditional Name For Rowlocks
The most popular theory, probably because it also originates with a common tool, although a much less sexy one. Dildos is the traditional name for two pegs on a dory that would lock the oars in place during use. An obscure and little thing to name a town after, but in Newfoundland we’ve named towns for less.
Probability: Very Possible

Theory #2: Name of a Spanish or Portuguese Sailor
Spanish and Portuguese names are not rare in Newfoundland, given the importance of both countries in our own History. To trace such a name back, changed a couple times would be nigh impossible, but after a little research it became a bit more likely that the town’s name originated in this way. The Spanish name Delgado or the Portuguese Do Rego show how a name like Dildo could have started. Maybe.
Probability: Maybe

Theory #3: Named After the Caribbean Dildo-Pear Tree
Why would a town in Newfoundland be named after an obscure plant on Antilles? Rum, of course! Newfoundlanders have had a centuries-old love for Caribbean rum, an oft sought commodity when trading salt cod down south. The origins of Caribbean rum in Newfoundland is as foggy as the name Dildo, but some trace it back 250 years, sometime prior to the founding of Dildo in the late 18th century. A couple things against this theory, however: the area was well inhabited back to the early 18th century, and the Dildo-Pear Tree, or Pilosocereus royeni, is a cactus that is obscure with no particular value (at least that I can find) to Newfoundlanders, especially those visiting for the sake of trade. And as far as I can tell, the name “Dildo-Pear Tree” hasn’t seen much use, although I suppose I can’t comment on fashionable expressions of the late 1700s.
Probability: Unlikely

Stay tuned for Part 3, where three more theories for Dildo’s name will be explored.

Bottom Dwelling Walker [Horny Whore]

O! Poor Sea Life! Ever subject to the grace of sailors and fishermen (or lack thereof). I suppose the expression “curse like a sailor” is apt, especially given the amount of sea creatures that get labeled with dirty, dirty words.

The latest discovery is the Sculpin or Short Spined Bullhead, or Myoxocephalus scorpius to scientists, also known as the Father Lasher (a fine candidate for this blog, were it a Newfoundland term). It is a simple creature, a bottom dweller hard to spot due to its fantastic camouflage. So given it’s bumpy and ugly visage, and plethora of spines, it acquired the name Horny Whore.

As for Newfoundland term, I figure it’s an oxymoron. As far as I know, sex workers do it out of necessity due to socio-economic factors, not so much their libidos. I am sure there are safer and more legal ways to get your kicks if you’re horny.

Wherever You Lay Your Head [Alley Coosh]

If Alley Coosh sounds like something not-quite-innocent in the dank alleys of Water Street occurring way too late at night (or way too early in the morning), you’d be on the right track. If you encountered what you are picturing, you may go tell these morally corrupt individuals to “Alley Coosh!” Which seems redundant.

No, it’s not a public sex act. Alley Coosh actually means “go to bed”, which makes absolute sense, if you know the French language. Phonetically, it is identical to “aller couche”, which means “go to bed” in French. How convenient…

So whether you are telling them to go get a bed or crying out in shock by mis-identifying the act in progress, “alley coosh” is always appropriate when encountering people doing bad stuff in public. Unless they’re just smoking a joint, in which case they’ll alley coosh soon enough.

Hockey Fight? [Fist]

Here’s a double entendre in which the understood meaning, the sexual slang, and the Newfoundland use of the word all fall in line and kind of make sense.

Fist, the noun, is what you punch faces, walls, and other miscellany with. To fist, the verb, is to insert the entire noun into the rectum or vagina as means of sexual stimulation. The Newfoundland term, according to the Dictionary of Newfoundland English, is also a verb, and it means to grasp firmly.

After a little research, I’ve concluded that this is not a uniquely Newfoundland term, seeing “to fist” common in many dictionaries. But since it is in the Dictionary of Newfoundland English and is quite a vulgar term, I have included it here.

Also the fist in rock-paper-scissors is the Rock, which is also Newfoundland. Handy and unconquerable by any tools, Newfoundland has met its match constantly and consistently through papers. You know, the ones that various agreements and accords end up on. Totally irrelevant, but noteworthy all the same.

Bag Your Codpiece? [Bag]

In less than formal language “bag” refers to a couple of things. You’ve probably heard it in reference to a woman, which isn’t very nice, so we won’t discuss that. The other one is as reference to the scrotum, which I would call an appropriate use of the term. I mean, it is a bag after all. It is bag-like in shape and function! Natural evolution and slang never worked so well together.

What’s strange though, it has been while since I have heard its use as such. Your experience may vary from mine, but it seems the days are long gone since I heard a man refer to his “bag”. But then again, I grew up I suppose.

A bag, in Newfoundland, has been referred to just as infrequently in this day and age. A bag is a net fashioned in such a way to moor codfish underwater temporarily. While the structure is called a “bag” as a noun, the act of doing so can be referred to as “bag off” or “bag up”, which are sexual double entendres just waiting to happen.

Not For Your Bottom [Spanker]

Wondering what to give that special woman in your life? Stumped for a Christmas or birthday gift? Nothing will bring a smile to your loved one’s face like a nice spanker. No night on the town is complete without a spanker. Stylish and practical, a spanker is the perfect accessory to accent any ensemble. There’s a spanker for every season! The heavy duty spanker for those cold winter nights, and light and breezy spankers for summer days when just a bit of flair is needed.

Of course, I’m referring to a gentleman who does not mind giving a ladies bottom a wallop all in the name of a good time! No I’m not, but I wish I was.

A spanker, in Newfoundland vernacular that has become mildly outdated, is a woman’s shawl. Make sense now? Wish it was the other way? Well, no one’s stopping you I guess. Just be sure you’re in the right store when you ask for a spanker, for either one you want.